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Meeting Your Online Friends in Person for the First Time (For Adults)

Participating in online chats and discussion groups can lead to wonderful online friendships - even romance.  Many people decide to meet their newfound friends in person.  It's a good idea to keep some safety tips in mind when meeting an online friend for the first time.

• Always tell someone where you are going to meet your online friends.  Better still, bring someone along with you.
   
• Always meet in a public place you are familiar with for your first get together.  Do not agree to your first meeting in your own home.
   
• Trust your instincts.  Do you really "know" someone you've met online?  It's easy for people to lie online.  I knew someone who perpetuated a lie for over a year online.  After a while, things simply didn't add up.  If something "feels" wrong, then don't do it.
   
• Don't have your expectations set too high.  Remember chat brings together people who sometimes wouldn't ordinarily meet in the real world.  Just because you frequent the same chat room or discussion board doesn't necessarily mean you have enough in common with each other to be friends in the real world.
   
• Sometimes face to face meetings just don't work out.  Be prepared to leave if you don't feel comfortable in a situation.  Have your own transportation with you so you can make a quick exit.
   
• Bring a cell phone or pager along with you.  You might even want to have a friend call you at a certain time to make sure you're okay, or so that you have an excuse to leave gracefully.
   
• Be on your guard.  Don't be afraid to leave if you get ANY uncomfortable feeling about the person you're meeting.  (Remember it's better to be safe than to be polite.)  Do whatever you have to do to get yourself away from there if the situation becomes unsafe.

January 2004 Update:

Since I first wrote this, date rape drugs (slipped into an unsuspecting person's drink) have become a major issue - especially here on the west coast.  Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you are going to be drinking:

• Don't leave your drink unattended.  If you do, then get rid of it.
   
• If you accept drinks from someone else, watch them being poured, and take them yourself.
   
• Don't share your drinks, or drink from a container that is being passed around.
   
• Don't drink out of punch bowls.
   
• Order bottled drinks.  They're harder to spike and easier to guard.
   
• Remember that alcohol is the most common factor in sexual assaults.

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Page last updated January 26, 2008